memory wasn't something i could carry

In growing in a house brimming

with guilt, I have learned the power of throwing

things away, and now have almost nothing of the past.

I peel through an itemized attic of my mind,

white and black lips split-smile

in yearbook pages, sheened over in Sharpie-scratch,

disco-ball necklace gleaming and sixteen, once-lit candles

stuck with confetti. A year’s worth of my life,

kept in camcorder static, soft whispers of Japanese

characters dented in graph paper,

and notes shoved through locker slats,

folded into truth-spoken revolution.

I will find in photos I don’t have

the origins of me,

pull the wired music from my old Tooth Tunes,

reprogram it with reaffirmations --

I will say I love myself

even with my mouth closed.

“memory wasn’t something i could carry” was a poem written during the thirty days of National Poetry Month 2019, and was first posted on my Twitter page.